I can clearly recall as a child, being told, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. It was another way to say, be kind with your words. Typically, the saying surfaced when you spoke out loud about others. I never once considered, that the most important part of the saying should apply to how we talk to ourselves. For as long as I can remember, my internal voice was negative. Until I was in my thirties, my internal dialog was abusive.
“What an idiot”
“What were you thinking?”
Sound familiar? I had no idea, that I had the option of changing my internal self-talk. It is hard to love yourself if you continue to hammer yourself relentlessly. I didn’t even know that I had the power to change this self-destructive pattern until I read, You Can Heal Your Own Life, by Louise Hay. I learned that when I said something negative to myself, I had to catch myself, and say the opposite. I took the uncomfortable steps that now allow me to look myself in the mirror and love the person I see starring back. It took months to teach myself a new habit of positive self-talk and still years later, the old habit of negative self-talk revisits often. Remember, for thirty years I was not nice to myself, so it very easy to fall back into old patterns. I don’t beat myself up when I catch myself in my old pattern, I just remind myself, that I am writing my story, and it is a story where I realize I am worthy.
I want to remind you, that you too are worthy. We all have items we beat ourselves up over, and I am here to tell you, you have the choice. If the way that you talk to yourself, doesn’t match the way you talk to you best friend, I encourage you to explore why. Do you want to beat yourself up for a lifetime? Or, do you want to be able to know, if you don’t have anything nice to say to yourself, you should choose to say nothing at all?