Being a mom is like being on a roller coaster, lots of ups, downs, and surprise turns. A very smart woman once explained to me, that as moms we put everything in front of our self care. We prioritize the kids, our partner, and then maybe our self. When you put everything and everyone in front of your own needs, there will be a breaking point. I think the saying is, you can't pour from an empty cup.
And for me, when my cup is empty I cannot show up and be the mom I want to be for my family. For example, when my kid accidentally spills milk, and I have taken care of my own needs, I handle this within my Mother of the Year style. But let’s say I haven’t taken care of myself that day… I act more like Curella de Ville. Ever had one of those moments, when you look back and ask yourself why you were so mad/angry/mean ect…? I bet if you dig a little deeper, you will realize you haven’t taken care of yourself.
With that being said, taking care of ourselves needs to be our first priority. When we take care of ourselves, we can show up as our best self, which I have found, eliminates a lot of the emotional ups and downs of mommyhood. It doesn’t take much to start to take care of yourself. Taking 10 minutes, can change your whole day. Here are some ideas:
- Read a book
- Quick work out - there are so many free workout apps available at this time. My favorite is the Peloton app, which is free for 90 days right now. Their work out videos range from, bike, running, yoga, stretching and more.
- Take a short walk, alone and just be present. Focus on the what you see, smell, hear and feel as you stroll.
- YouTube Break!
- Find an inspiring video
- Find a funny video
- Find a meditation video
- Call a friend and fully focus on them during your time together
- Listen to relaxing music
- Arts & Crafts
- Clean & Organize
- Write a letter
Take as many “me moments” as needed throughout the day. They can be as short as 10 minutes.
Ask For Help
During our stay at home time, it is important to put in a team effort around the housework. Be specific in what you want. Each of you has a responsibility to help with the house work, don’t let it all weigh on your shoulders. Teach your kids how to fold clothes, load the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, heck, maybe even to clean their bathroom. For your husbands, if they are not naturally volunteering, make sure you enlist their help. It is ok to nicely ask if they can take out the trash, empty the dishwasher or vacuum, remember they don't read minds. (Thank goodness.) Maybe call this family time, instead of chores. If all of you are cleaning together you can make it a fun activity vs. work. It’s all about the mindset here.
Now more than ever the world is connecting, but are you fully present? Call your family, friends and loved ones often. Make a list. I know when I sat down and thought about, I realized my uncle who lives alone would just love a FaceTime call from my family. What about single friends that are quarantining alone, grandparents, old friends, anyone that you can think of, probably needs a call! But remember, make sure you ask for what you want. I have a few friends that will only want to talk about COVID-19, where I prefer to not talk about it. For those individuals, I ask them if we can set up a call to talk like old times, to feel normal for just a few minutes and stay away from the COVID-19 topic. If you need to talk about it, then ask for that, too.
Every week Bette & I will be hosting a ZOOM call Monday at 3pm, we hope you can join us as we navigate through this quarantine life together! The way I look at it, I have a choice. I am choosing to take this time to grow, learn and develop stronger rituals. What are your goals through this time?